Soap is not a condiment
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
