So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
