Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Farmville is her only friend.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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