i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
