just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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