Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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