Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Randomize
