Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
