he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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