I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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