so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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