he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
