Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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