Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
