You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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