Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
