No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
