worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
