his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
