Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
