I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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