it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
