He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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