SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
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