i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
