i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
