i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
