Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
being pregnant is like rehab
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
