I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
