barbara walters just said penis...
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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