capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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