God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
