He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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