I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
"it" just moved
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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