Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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