You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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