We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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