i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
