Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
