I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
