he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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