how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
