Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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