We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
