this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
