This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
