I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
it glows. i had to have it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
