May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I could make wine with my vomit
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
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