if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
