Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
