so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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