And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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